>>194104December 25th, 2034.
It's currently Genderday, where the kids sit around an inverted cross and share stories about their latest abortions.
There's mind-control drugs and estrogen in the water. All the food is required to be dipped in Red 40. Everyone needs to get their yearly vaccination around now, spiked with an RFID chip that targets the religious center of the brain. The Democrats have ruled ever since 2027 when the Great Golden One was martyred by a transgender dwarf standing on a nonbinary dwarf's shoulders in a trench coat. Ever since then, the United States of Greater Israel has been the first Western nation to legalize pedophilia, but only if your skin is brown or darker. All white girls are sent off to "training camps" at age thirteen, where they're conditioned to hate white men, except for Lenin, who is taught in place of God in schools.
Right now, I'm sitting in a rusty runoff pipe, waiting for the helicopters to pass me by and spot me. I've been eating nothing but rats and whatever soy rations the sympathetic citizens have smuggled my way.
My children are gonna ask me, one day, after all this, what the first sign of America's downfall was, and when they do, I'll look them in the eyes and tell them…
It was when they removed the guy and the barrel from the Cracker Barrel logo.