Hi everyone. I am still alive. On the night of thanksgiving i tried killing myself by slicing my arm open with a scalpel. I ended up squirting blood out of my left arm through my artery, when that started happening my survival instinct kicked in even though I wanted to die and I called 911 for help. I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, they stitched my arm back together and then I stayed in a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks. it sucked the entire time. sorry to make you guys worry.(This thread is inactive and will enter a gap soon.)
man i literally just got home after almost a month and i tried playing on kogasa and someone banned me i was trying to explain to them what happened but ig not
>>297067 That was me because memeboi said you should get kicked out if it was fake since this is unhealthy but since you failed the attempt you can play
I gotta say it, I'm impressed Back in the original thread I predicted your willpower would last maybe two days before you gave in and started posting again I admit it, I was wrong... by a lot
>>297103 Back when you kysed I didn't care much, I was more concerned about how others in and out of here would react than about your condition but now that you're back I care and I'm concerned for you and I take back the mean things I said so please get away from your psycho family.
>slicing my arm open with a scalpel I once did something like this, but it was not an attempt for suicide. I had a fixation for blood and flesh and I wanted to see what was inside me.
>I ended up squirting blood out of my left arm through my artery
How did you react to seeing all that blood? Did it mesmerise your gaze? The other day, I split a piece of my thumb slicing an onion in half with a full knife. What fascinated me was that the belt felt very blunt and brief. Such a dull pain for the most horrid knife accident i have had. seeing all the blood languidly travel my arm and form little lazy rivulets looked so mortal and vulnerable. Life is so quick and fragile. but the carnal pain is so temporary and meaningless until you superimpose a certain beauty into it that can only be found through suffering.
>when that started happening my survival instinct kicked
this is so poetic. it is pure poetry bargaining your body not to shut down but reaching a mutual conclusion that maybe you had an okay life.
>I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks
the smell of a hospital is horrifying. a white room is purgatory. colour white is a scary colour.
>I stayed in a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks
did you make friends? did you have fun picking at the psychiatrist and therapist? was it fun mocking them?
>sorry to make you guys worry.
no one cares. no one was worried. why are you still clawing at the dirt? tell your body you are sorry for making it suffer.
