>>389035Having ambitions but not having the discipline to reach them. I wasn't supposed to be wasting so much of the little time I have but here I am, wasting my day off watching youtube slop, listening to music and looking at SFW and NSFW arts and AIslop on pixiv.
That means I must work even harder to change just like I tried to do years ago but failed miserably and worse, I was unable to go back to how I used to be and got trapped in a void where I constantly feel I need to be doing something more meaningful which made me unable to enjoy life normally.
Thankfully, I was shown a clear path to take by someone. These past weeks were very productive as I managed to stop using imageboards and xitter (at least at home) and managed to study even for a little bit for the first time in years. it's a clear foundation.
But it's not enough. They said I shouldn't crucify myself over failing and that there are days where we just aren't in the mood for it, but these words are like kryptonite for a undisciplined bastard like me, whose brain is constantly looking for excuses to keep slacking while time keeps running.
This has been the source of great discomfort and pain in my country.
