No.1124
So bad hombre woke up, in his undefined bed. "Today is the day" he thought "boy am I eggcited to fag out!". And hombre did that Mickey mouse pose with the arms, yeah.
So first hombre got ready, he brushed his teeth, got dressed. Today he's wearing a white shirt, red bowtie, gay ah little German boy looking shorts with those Spandex thingies holding them up fuck I forgot, black socks with eye pattern like a Gap and square ass shoes. Glizzy!
Uh oh! Time for breakfast! Hombre just takes the last night's take out out the fridge. It's dogshit. Hombre just ordered it for his lawn two days ago, but hasn't really gotten around to it. Money can get you this far, ladies.
Anyway, hombre just made some Mac and Mac. well fed and energised, he set outside, for the real tasks at hand. Today was the day EVERYTHING changes. Really. And hombre is excited with a hard on. Embarrassing ooh wee. So instead of walking he sees grimbler ride by on his bi cycle(mispronounced, spelling is correct), fists him in the head and gta's his ride.
"Bro what the fuck?!" Grimbler yells. Yet, as hombre goes out on the horizon, grimbler assumes a fetal position and starts crying indefinitely. "Don't worry, gwimbly, lole" hombre's voice echoes.
With his newfound ride, hombre successfully does 30 front flips and makes it to the post office.
"This is Microsoft office post office office. How can I service office you?" The deceptive reception squidward says.
"Meow mrrr, my parcel is here. I'd like to receive it puwuease." Hombre hands squidward his invoice then vomits on the floor.
"Here it is." Squidward hands the parcel to its new owner.
Hombre holds it up and runs around, yipping out "wahoo!"s. He does a little breakdance, spinning with his ass on the ground. He gets on now his bike, but it folds flat into a pancake, for his parcel was 890lbs tall. So hombre just runs back home really fast(4mph).
No.1125
On the way there he stops by a patisserie. The sweet smells have enfatuated(spelling is not correct) his nostrils and hombre liked having a nose, so he goes in and doesn't let himself get smell cucked.
"I want a dozen of various donuts and THREE chocolate eclairs *Sigh* heheh" Hombre exhales at the end of the sentence. He does that with every sentence he says, so like do that if you're reading his lines out loud. All this runaround made him hungy. The staff are all malnourished though. They make his order. "That'll be $90 Canadian medically assisted euthanasias or something." The staff says.
"Do you accept wariocoins? I got like 7 trumpillion of them." Hombre returns. He does a little smirk and a tongue click "ca-chowuh!"
"No sir we don't…" The cashier is pale and is about to faint… "…but we accept tf2 items, it'll be two aussie launchers and one Aussie sniper rifle."
"Deal!" Hombre slaps the hand of the employee and the deal goes off because everyone in Canada has neurolinks on 2nd of December 2024 apparently. So he gets his donuts and eclairs.
No.1126
Hombre takes out three eclairs and deep throats them to quench his hunger, he doesn't chew them or anything, just swallows them whole, but the donuts are to be left for later.
Then hombre actually goes home.
Hombre then unpacks his mokou cosplay and starts having esex with dragon in the kogasatopia vc, everyone is there, utsuho, horactix, shullers, grimbler, iso etc. and they think it's gay. Hombre just turns his camera on and jorks it. He can do that because he's the server owner and made a plugin that can stream his cam to everyone playing on kog. He then gets a bad dragon dildo, juices it up and starts fucking himself with it.
"Hombre what the actual fuck?!" Everyone says. "I can do what I want, lole. What are you gonna do, hmm? Find another touhou fortress 2 server? Yeah didn't think so!" Hombre replies. There's white cum coloured bad dragon lube all over him, yes it's a real thing, no I don't know why he's oiled up.
No.1127
"Holy shit that's so hot!" Says noone ever, except that was actually dragon, he just hit a triple airshot on hombre. "Wait why the fuck is Hombre on my screen fucking himself?"
"Oooh ooh dragon I knew you loved me too! I spent bidenillions of dogecoins on private investigators to stalk you 24/7. I saw that one video of you tugging it out oooooooh aaah FUCK-" hombre just came all over his camera. "I always loved to think *exhale* you were thinking about me while doing it. *exhale*" Hombre says painfully and does a kissy face.
"Wipe that shit off the camera you dirty FFFFAGGOT!!" Says horactix in his iconic trump voice. "Noone thinks you're based for fucking yourself in the ass. Quite the opposite. It's very UNBASED."
"You're just a hater, hora, heh. !ban 0 horactix" Hombre retorts being the faggy server owner he is. Mind you he's still steaming and his dick and balls jiggle around.
He leans in and starts whispering… "Heeey, dragon, y'know what would make this even more interesting? If you came over to my… *Special place*…"
"Ok, whatever, bby ily" dragon replies and goes into spec.
Koggy gained millions of dollars in revenue and thirty new foid players, so most straight oldfags got married to hot trad 2hu wives. Except for grimbler because he became a professional hoi4 player and gets fucked in the ass by kaze, cause kaze got cucked and had to find a different husband.
No.1129
true story i was there
No.1133
Chat I need honest reviews on how I did writing this.
No.1134
>>1133was ok
i think i would appreciate it more if i knew kogasatopia lore