>>263726Ummmm im pretty much immune to mental vampirism i think cuz my conversations with normies usually end up with me giving them one word replies so they fuck off pretty fast desu, and if they somehow dont fuck off and do upset me in one way or another i just dissociate by playing vidyas or reading (i read about 150 pages daily although its not because im getting mentally raped by normies every day) or doing whatever else.
>I think you should try indulging in these more often and creating that which you find beautifulI already do the indulging part, since as i said its pretty much my only source of so-called happiness, but not much creating i guess although i kinda started making my own rpg-maker game (it didnt go very far yet thoughie). Anyway i dont really care about being happy much, what im trying to chase is some different kind of emotion…not really sure what to call it, some kind of lucidity kinda feeling when you expirience something and it transpires you above normal world, or makes you expirience it in a really clear and sharp way. For example there was this part in Thomas Mann's Magic mountain where the main character meets a redhead russian woman amidst the autumn forest as sunlight shines on her hair making it look as if it was shining or something and i really could almost see it in real life. Or something. So basically those kind of thigns are worth living for (for me).